At first I wasn’t sure if this was real or if was simply an April fools joke. MillCoors brought with them to a wholesalers show in Las Vegas a new bottle design called “Vortex”. As reported by brandweek.com, MillerCoors explains that the new bottle will have swirled grooves in the neck to help beer dispense faster out of the bottle. Hmm, this can’t actually improve someone’s beer drinking experience… Maybe it’s just a gimmick that MillerCoors is using to ploy people into drinking their beer. Wait! Thats exactly what it is!
They have even gone so far as to say that the purpose of this new design is to create buzz and excitement around the brand giving customers another reason to choose Miller. So rather than improve on the taste, aroma, body or quality of the beer to try to convince you to buy more, they are going to dangle shiny objects in front of your face blinding you from the tasteless carbonated fizz that they call beer.
Whats more, is that there will be a slaughtering of people who actual will get excited and go out and buy this product. Last year MillerCoors unit sales shrank by 1.7%, while craft beer sales exploded by 10.%, it seemed like more and more people are realizing the value is beer with flavor. Hopefully this is the case and ridiculous gimmicks such as this will be history. No I don’t like the commercial brand giants very much, but its nothing personal. I just wish they would stop calling the fizzy barely yellow mass produced liquid that they sell “beer”.